To continue on with my previous post regarding what's new with me.. (last post turned into a total pigeon post).
Glenny bought a house on 62 acres. In the country, heavily wooded lot. Tons of privacy....62 acres is a lot of private land to explore. Being the cripple I am....that was something new that depressed me, the reminder of inability. Access free. A big N-O.
Sucky because prior to, I was an outdoors chick. Hiking, mountain biking, trail jogger, etc. loved the outdoors in Vermont, loved the adventure and freedom. Mainly I loved the fact that I got the fuck away from people in general. The further I am from people, the happier I am.
So, what to do in such a dilemma? Well, get someone that loves you to buy you a four wheeler. Not just any four wheeler....a white Honda rubicon four wheeler that is automatic. No need for feet. This is too awesome considering my dead weak numb feet are pretty useless.
This four wheeler is the new love of my life. I got a major crush on it when it was a possibility, but now that it was bought for me....ahhhhhhh. Love. It takes my crippled ass all through these woods. It makes trails. It eats saplings and easily negotiates hills, streams, and downed trees. Damn, I am in love. I honestly forget about this disease while I am motoring through. Too cool. Too awesome. And I admit I love getting back in touch with my inner redneck.
And seriously.....I can't help but admit that if I could substitute this badass four wheeler for my wimpy wheelchair, I would probably love being in public. No shit. I hate wheelchairs because it is degrading being eye level with everyone's asses in a checkout line, in an elevator, in a store aisle.... I am so sick of seeing asses. Granted, I am thankful I don't have to look at their faces....I suppose their ass is the better deal.
I suppose the point I am trying to make is that for some reason the four wheeler enables me to feel like how I used to feel. I feel like the original version of myself. Kinda badass. :)
In a wheelchair....I feel ....helpless or something. I am unsure if others feel that way. Of course I can only assume I am pissing someone off by saying that. Because I am sure there is some noble wheelchair bitch that feels like a badass on their power scooter or in their chair. Whatever, that's you. I don't give a fuck if you disagree with me.
For whoever reads, has read, anything I have ever written on this here blog....you most likely know, or vaguely recall, that I lived in the city for a decade. I was fine with it for the first 8 years. Why? I worked all of the time, and when I wasn't working I was in the mountains, woods or the lake. So, I basically slept there....ate there. Hung my hat there. But the past few years of being a fucking slug....you notice a lot. Like neighbors. Omfg. Traffic, alarms, horns, the smell of other peoples dinner cooking, two blocks away dogs barking, etc.
This is really just turning into an ode to my four wheeler. My woods legs. My mobility. Actually being back in nature. It's frisking beautiful out there.
We have huge ledges, which is covered with shit. Eastern coyote shit to be exact. Which I am sooooo desperate to see. A coyote and grey wolf blend. Nice. Live right in the back yard. Along with black bear. I drove over some black bear shit last weekend. Gross. And we heard one, and Glenn always carrys a pistol. A wee pistol. Seriously. I have a big black shotgun which is really intimidating...scares the shit out of me, but I never take it with me when I go.
My mental state is kind of the same. I mean yes, there is a lot of positives that hold the hand of the four wheeler.....but, keep in mind I am highly critical of myself....blame my Eurocentric childhood.
I am always reminded of the no. The cant. The are you fucking kidding me. The ms. I can ride like a mad woman...but if I need to pee? Hahah. Good luck to me getting myself off the fucking thing and getting my jeans down near a tree before I piss myself. That reminder keeps me in check.
That's the reality. But, I'll take it. You're fucking right I will. I haven't smiled this much in a while.
.....I am even going to post a pic of my beloved four wheeler. Like I said....the current love of my life.