Tuesday, January 8, 2013

If a girl falls in the woods....

I was going to try to get all witty with a word play there, but I didn't.....

So, I have news....good-ish...for me.

Having 60+ acres of land, in the winter, in Vermont.....pretty daunting for a cripple, eh?  Holy hell, yes.  But, I had mentioned to y'all about my super bad ass four wheeler....

(this four wheeler is so seriously bad ass...and my dilemma was which celtics jersey number would I paint on it?  #5?  Cos similar to KG this is an incredible machine...a beast.  Or, #9?  Because of how fast it goes while weaving in and around obstacles....... Decided just to paint a shamrock on it. Yeah, I am a heinsohn prodigy.  Celtics bias coursing through the green blood flowing through my veins....blah blah blah)

Ok.  So, since we haven't bought chains for its tires yet.... But wanted to venture into the woods and gawk at the beauty under a blanket of snow....I thought "voila"... Years ago, when I was fully mobile, I had snow shoes because I was a go-go-go person.... Snow, sleet, sweltering heat...as long as it was outside.  Anyhow, I have the poles...so I figure, fuck it, why not try. I didn't have high hopes.  I really didn't.  About a foot of powdery snow....and a cripple with snow shoe poles.  In the woods, dude.

I got Rommel all set up in his nice bright yellow tshirt, because mother fuckers around here have a penchant for shooting people's German shepherds because they all 'look like coyotes'.  It just happened again recently a couple towns over. Sad.  Some hunter shot some woman's four year old German shepherd in HER YARD!  Yeah.  I don't trust anyone, so poor Rommel has to sport a tshirt until I get his OSHA orange dog safety vest ordered.   And, our land is posted....but, that didn't stop a hunter from shooting a doe out back and then dragging it to the road via our pseudo front yard. (we have a huge lawn span.....like a football field.....so, yeah, basically our front yard.  Whatever....I digress.

Back to the cripple with snow shoe poles and a foot of snow.  I cannot walk on my own.  I cannot stand on my own.  I cannot balance at all, and if I try to stand I end up bent at the hips to maintain any type of balance to stay on my feet.  Figured the poles would be good.  We started our journey across the front yard, to the wood line, and then there is a bit of a hill, and once up it, there is a flattish trail that wraps around and finally comes around way behind the house.  That was my goal.  Just to do that little bit. Glenn walks it in about ten minutes. Ten minutes. Took me an hour.  But, I fucking did it.  I was coasting on fumes for the final stretch.  How victorious.  I fell, a few times.  Rommel walking over and looking at me like 'wtf are you doing?'.

I could elaborate on how difficult is was.  I could get dramatic and dish on my internal dialogue.  I could get poetic, but I won't.  I try to be succinct...but meander.

Bottom line, I did it.  I had promised myself that I would try, with very little expectations.  That if I couldn't, that I wouldn't verbally vivisect myself.  I promised I wouldn't be in denial about it. I wouldn't cry......I promised myself I would concede and move on.  But, I did it.  A ten minute walk in an hour.  Thank you snow shoe poles..... I kinda feel human.  I got to do something normal...ish.


  1. I think someone reading that with MS can share a little adrenaline rush with you.
    Great accomplishment. Rommel surely understood its significance and will be now wondering, what's next?